I tied a ribbon around my finger last week. A tiny, dark red reminder for me to remember. I wasn’t even sure what I needed to remember but I had a deep awareness that the reminder would bring me a peace I needed. And so it did. So it continues to do. A reminder to remember.
Growing up I was the one who held all the pertinent information. Recognizing my ability to retain lots of facts and details, my parents would often turn to me and say a phone number or rattle off driving directions they had been given so that I could spit it out for them when they needed. In the time before GPS and smartphones I was their walking memory bank. Want to know the hours the dump was open, or a birthday, or what we ate for dinner last year for someone’s birthday-I had the answer.
But here is the thing, having a good memory is different than being adept at remembering. While my memory is quite excellent, I have had to learn to remember.
Remembering, the kind that brings peace, requires an experience and awareness that is accumulated over years, even generations of time. Last week, before Peace in the Dark was released, I was sitting at a table that held my history. As I rubbed the tabletop I wondered to myself, what memories were held within the grain. (I shared a pic HERE). This was the place around the corner where my family went every week. I have a few very specific memories of the place but mostly just a sense of presence. That is what I felt in the tabletop. I think it was the constancy of our past presence that made the impression more than any one big moment. That is how it is with remembering. A long, slow presence that brings peace.
We need that kind of steadiness to draw from when we face the unknowns, the in-between seasons, the Holy Saturdays of our lives. And to be able to draw from it, we need to have already experienced it. In other words, we need to have a sense of God’s faithfulness in our bones before we need to rely on that faithfulness.
I am not one to encourage storing up of anything. I would much rather use it all right now. But, in this particular way, I have found a sweetness in storing up. I collect stories of faithfulness like my son collects rocks. This may be the old history teacher in me, but knowing history is vital to our present. History is both scriptural and personal. We need both. We need to know the history of God and how he is faithful to his people as demonstrated through the Bible. But we also need to know the history of each other and how God is faithful to his people as demonstrated through our lives.
History is a powerful thing. It invades a space and soaks into all its surfaces. And if you allow it, it will affect your present. The peace that comes from remembering allows us to be unworried, allows us to be patient, steady. -Peace in the Dark
Sometimes I get to be the one to remember as a sort of beacon for another person. “I was here before. I know the way out.”1 Sometimes I get to remember for myself as I draw on stories of faithfulness that I know so well.
My times of frustration, feeling lost or left out to sea are rooted in one thing: I forgot to remember. I wonder if that is why I went ahead and tied that ribbon on to my finger last week. It was a gentle call-don’t forget to remember. As I wrote in Peace in the Dark, “this is the work we do to prepare ourselves for our own Holy Saturdays.”
Turns out last week was pretty disorienting and that little ribbon on my finger has been a steadying presence of peace.
If you are feeling unsettled (and I am wondering who isn’t?!) perhaps it is because you have forgotten to remember. Could it be time to remember God’s faithfulness? Or perhaps it might be helpful to recall someone who has gone down this path before you. I find my peace comes most from remembering that things are not nearly as urgent as I think, that there is time. There is time. May you find an exhale in those very words as you remember. May there be peace.
As a reminder we are gearing up for out slow walk through of Peace in the Dark this Lent. The study as well as all the order bonuses are available for anyone who has picked up a copy of Peace through the end of March.
Peace in the Dark Order Bonuses:
24 page Lent Companion (download)
Private online Peace in the Dark reading circle (substack)
Seven Week online guided Lent Study of Peace in the Dark walking through Lent Companion w/daily discussion posts, weekly reflection prompts, Live Q&A, prizes and extras. (substack)
3 mo paid subscription to The Table (substack)
These all offer ways to go deeper into the message of Peace, whether it be on your own in private study, with a group, or online with me. Recently I conducted a poll to see what workshops the paid subscribers of The Table were looking for in 2024 and one of the repeated requests was more book clubs. The Lenten read through of Peace in the Dark is like a book club but richer! And more than anything all the order bonuses are an invitation into the dark this Lenten season
Thank you for being here. Thank you for your tremendous support of Peace in the Dark. I cannot wait to dive into it with you!
Order your copy of Peace in the Dark available now!
(Yes, just like that episode of The West Wing)
Congrats on the book release, Jessica. I saw Lore had recommended it so I picked up a copy--looking forward to reading it during Lent this year.